Then Ronnie turns up with his new girlfriend, and the stories begin. He's amazing. He can tell the most ridiculous tales with an unbreakable poker face. It's a game, a test, that Cindy, all bangs, lipstick and nails, looks unlikely to pass.

Tonight's story concerns a man forced to marry a goat after he was caught having sex with it.

Things were sweet at first; they stuck to their promise that a bit of paper wouldn't change them, they shared household chores, shopped for groceries and tableware, found time for laughter and future plans. But, a year in things turned sour. They didn't talk anymore, not about anything important. The goat began to stay out late and would come back half-cut on vermouth and smelling of cheap aftershave.

'He wants a divorce,' says Ronnie, filling Cindy's glass, 'but he's worried the goat will get half of everything.'

'That's ridiculous,' Cindy says. Ronnie raises an eyebrow. Perhaps he's misjudged her. 'If it's been unfaithful, it doesn't deserve anything,' Cindy concludes.

Ronnie winks at me. 'Exactly,' he says. 'I'm just glad there are no kids involved.'

'Oh god, absolutely,' Cindy says, nodding vigorously. 'That's when it gets complicated.'

I give them a week.

 

© Andrew Michael Hurley 2008